This weekend a friend asked me what was occupying most of my focus given all the things going on in my life right now (examination for ordination, ordination, moving, getting house ready for renters, big writing projects…)

I had just enough time to say, “It all takes turns,” before she got pulled away in immediate and pressing mother-of-a-pre-school-child duties (which ones are not?). Actually, its a lot like that. Whatever is most urgently yanking at my knees. Although I have a big calendar on the wall with post-it notes of tasks and a great to-do program on both my ipod touch and desk computer. The to-do program links tasks that have due dates to my calendar automatically. Which means I have lots of opportunities to perfect my procrastination and panic skills.

Sometimes my focus is on frustration. Last week I made lots of calls and talked to lots of answering machines. I sent out lots of emails and saw nothing return in my in-box. I posted “messages” on Facebook and still ended up looking mostly at pictures of cats doing human activities. Apparently the whole world took the week before Labor Day off. I took Friday off just because Thursday was clearly a waste of time.

For example:  We need to move, so we need movers making estimates so we can submit them to Munich so we can hire a mover so we can move. I contacted four or five reasonable choices early last week and have heard from only two. One of which has a date on the calender to come make an estimate and one that said he’d get back to me. I’m now terrified that Bill will have to fly out without me because the movers didn’t get their act together. I don’t think that’s whats really going to happen but welcome to Procrastinate and Panic.

On Sunday I went to church where I got swarmed by a couple of five year olds and a two year old. Or is that four and three? Let’s just say my lap and my heart was filled with the trust of three small children. How am I ever going to leave this behind? One of the children, when he overheard that I was going to be moving, asked, “Can I come visit you?” His father is having some trouble showing up in his life at the moment. This child sits in our Sunday School room and opens up his heart which holds gob smacking reservoirs of wisdom and grace. “Can I come visit you?” “Yes,” I said immediately in my out-loud voice. “I want you to come visit me.” My inside voice murmured something about airline tickets and passports but my inside voice knew enough to keep it inside.

I laid awake for a while last night thinking about these children, the children of my church and the sunday school. I started rehearsing a sermon to preach, perhaps on my last Sunday in town, where I’d tell the congregation why they have to come teach Sunday School. We’re the closest adults near these children. If we aren’t telling them about God then who will? Its not a choice, its a mandate from the One who went out of His way to welcome children into His presence. I want to jump up and down and demand the congregation pay attention to these incredible little ones among them but I’m pretty sure that pounding the pulpit isn’t really all that affective in the long run. Besides, I’m the one who’s leaving. I’m the one who’s breaking these children’s trust by going away.

It’s time to go harvest the last of the tomatoes and pull whats left of the bushes. We’ve had a problem with one of the watering systems so its a crop that is ending but the coolness of the turning season is also closing out the season. Its just that this is the last crop of tomatoes I’ll be gathering for a while. I hope to have a pot of tomatoes on my future balcony but mostly I’ll be cruising the markets for my produce. The Basil is also going to seed and why not? I could gather and freeze it but in eight weeks I need to have an empty freezer. I’ve been going through the strawberry freezer jam and I’ve got pints and pints of tomatillo  sauce sitting on the pantry shelf that will soon need a new home. I don’t buy big sacks of flour any more. its time to start giving away the herbs and spices, the rib-rubs I make up, the smoking chips next to the grill, the…. yeah. all that.

Right now I need to call some people so I can interview them for an article I’m writing. I have to chase them down, make a nuisance of myself so they will give me their time for which I will earn a bit of money. I also have to restart the chose-a-mover quest. I have to continue to pester a possible location for an service of ordination (Hi, can I give you money so I can use your location? How many times do you want me to call you and beg for the chance to give you money?). I have to schedule in a painter but I can’t schedule him in till the windows have been replaced. The glass is on order but it apparently hasn’t yet arrived because the scheduler hasn’t yet called me to schedule the installation. I need to follow up with the guy we want to hire as our property manager (you’d think he’d might want to reply to an email saying, will you come take over the house for us?).

Mostly I just want to go plug the Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword game into the Wii and hide out. At least the bosses show up for their battles.

“I Can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” 
― Margaret MitchellGone With the Wind


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